why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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