when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
jump out the window naked night went bad
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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