Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Are we still banned from the library?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
