The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
