I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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