That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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