remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
