Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The air was thick with penises
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
