Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
