So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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