He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize