C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
