I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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