Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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