2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
