you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
