Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
