They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm like, not good at living.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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