you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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