dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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