Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
