My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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