Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
