No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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