Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i think my cat just said my name.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
