i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
