So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
