Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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