Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
