i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
