great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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