So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
