She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
