I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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