I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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