He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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