Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize