i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
