I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize
