I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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