Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
