I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize