Where is the hickey?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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