i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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