it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
