I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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