She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
