No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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