A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
