How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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