we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
