everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
