I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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