there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
