i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
