I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
