Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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