I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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