I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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