fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wish there were birth control emojis
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
