Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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