This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
