We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
