just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize