Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
